Move Over Judgy Moms, I’m a Unicorn Mom

If you have been mommy-ing in the last year or two than you have undoubtedly heard of this new mom movement called “Unicorn moms.”

The Unicorn Mom definition:

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A mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor and couldn’t care less what you think.
See also: Beautiful; Boss; Bitch & Zero F#&Ks given
.

 

And you know what? I am into it!

I mean, I have only been a mom for a year now, but I have come to find out that not all moms have each other’s back. Motherhood is not the happy comradery I thought it would be. Infact Moms can be uptight, and downright MEAN.

 

A Unicorn mom embraces the challenges of motherhood and says “eff you mean mom, I don’t give a sh*t what you think!”

You know what else a Unicorn Mom says? “I may be a mom but I am f*cking human, and I am not going to pretend that I am perfect.”

 

I am tired of being judged by Judgy-Mc-Judgerton-Moms.

 

No- I didn’t breastfeed. Why? Because it was just one more challenge that I couldn’t take on when my twins were born. I just CHOSE not to. I tried for a few days, it was hard, I stopped… and I don’t feel bad about it.

 

And another thing, I had a C-section. SCHEDULED. Yup! I don’t feel bad about that either.

 

Oh, and I cuss. In case you haven’t noticed-  I f**king cuss…A LOT.

 

I’ll tell you this though: I don’t love my kids any less than you “MEAN MOM”. I would jump in front of a bus for my kids. I would throat punch any person who messed with my kids. We even get to do cool sh*t sometimes. I take them to farmers market every Sunday. I give them every life experience I can afford to, and they are smothered with love every day.

 

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I can’t stand their cute little faces and need a glass of wine to get through the night, BUT the difference is – as a UM…I own it.

 

I don’t need to lie, and pretend that my kids are perfect or that my household is perfect. Lets be honest, your household is not perfect either “Judgy Mom”. Parenting is hard without the added stress of giving a sh*t what people think about HOW I am doing at it.

 

I just want to give a shout out to all of the Unicorn moms who love their kids and give Zero F#&Ks what people have to say about it.  Rock on UM’s- Rock the f**k ON!!!!

9 Comments

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  1. Len 2 years ago

    Thank you for this post!! It is so on point . I’m a mom of twin boys who are 2 1/2. I don’t love them any less than a organic, 48hr labor mom who ate her placentia after birth. I took my kids out to places since they were newborns in their ergos and double fisted beers while chatting it up with friends. I always knew when i became a mom I still wanted to be my fun social self and just add my kids to the equation. I noticed some of my friends changed when they became moms. I thought we would connect more since we now had kids to relate to. But now of days ladies do yearn for the perfect mom status and ignore other moms who don’t follow in their steps. Who would think being a mom causes cliques ? Thanks again for your words wisdom and as a fellow unicorn mom as well … let’s “f on together”

    • Author
      Mariam 2 years ago

      Right? Thanks for reading… and responding. Moms can totally suck right? I have actually lost friends over this type of stuff. XOXO Twin mom. Rock the f*ck on!

  2. Melody 1 year ago

    I came across this article bc someone in our unicorn moms group posted and gotta say thank you! Yes us UMs rock hard and have seen a lot of other moms tell false stories about us! Yes we have a group page and yes not all mom can be consirdered a UM but we all welcome each new member with open arms! 🦄 UMstrong!

  3. G 1 year ago

    Yes please!!🦄

  4. Kelly depue 1 year ago

    Love this ❤️🦄❤️ #umstrong

  5. Abbie 1 year ago

    Yassss to unicorn moms. 💕

  6. Crystal Canales 1 year ago

    Right the f on! Thank you!!!

  7. Mary 8 months ago

    So finally – a name for the type of “Mom” I have been – for 19 years to my twins!!! I (and they) always said I was NOT THAT Mom! Ya know the one that looks and say oh you didn’t breastfeed, and you had a C-section and oh you say f’ing SOB on a great day – or is just comes the F💥💥😀 our, we’ll yep that’s me all the way! I love my twins and we are a close family! They are amazing and I am beyond proud! I didn’t do everything the right or wrong way – I did it my way and it works!

  8. Sky 7 months ago

    Yeah…we unicorns smoke Cannabis too. It makes us better parents too so stop judging us. If I didn’t have a couple bowls before the kids get up, I would be less available for them

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