Move Over Judgy Moms, I’m a Unicorn Mom

If you have been mommy-ing in the last year or two than you have undoubtedly heard of this new mom movement called “Unicorn moms.”

The Unicorn Mom definition:

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A mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor and couldn’t care less what you think.
See also: Beautiful; Boss; Bitch & Zero F#&Ks given
.

 

And you know what? I am into it!

I mean, I have only been a mom for a year now, but I have come to find out that not all moms have each other’s back. Motherhood is not the happy comradery I thought it would be. Infact Moms can be uptight, and downright MEAN.

 

A Unicorn mom embraces the challenges of motherhood and says “eff you mean mom, I don’t give a sh*t what you think!”

 

You know what else a Unicorn Mom says? “I may be a mom but I am f*cking human, and I am not going to pretend that I am perfect.”

 

I am tired of being judged by Judgy-Mc-Judgerton-Moms.

 

No- I didn’t breastfeed. Why? Because it was just one more challenge that I couldn’t take on when my twins were born. I just CHOSE not to. I tried for a few days, it was hard, I stopped… and I don’t feel bad about it.

 

And another thing, I had a C-section. SCHEDULED. Yup! I don’t feel bad about that either.

 

Oh, and I cuss. In case you haven’t noticed-  I f**king cuss…A LOT.

 

I’ll tell you this though: I don’t love my kids any less than you “MEAN MOM”. I would jump in front of a bus for my kids. I would throat punch any person who messed with my kids. We even get to do cool sh*t sometimes. I take them to farmers market every Sunday. I give them every life experience I can afford to, and they are smothered with love every day.

 

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I can’t stand their cute little faces and need a glass of wine to get through the night, BUT the difference is – as a UM…I own it.

 

I don’t need to lie, and pretend that my kids are perfect or that my household is perfect. Lets be honest, your household is not perfect either “Judgy Mom”. Parenting is hard without the added stress of giving a sh*t what people think about HOW I am doing at it.

 

I just want to give a shout out to all of the Unicorn moms who love their kids and give Zero F#&Ks what people have to say about it.  Rock on UM’s- Rock the f**k ON!!!!

2 Comments
  1. Len 5 months ago

    Thank you for this post!! It is so on point . I’m a mom of twin boys who are 2 1/2. I don’t love them any less than a organic, 48hr labor mom who ate her placentia after birth. I took my kids out to places since they were newborns in their ergos and double fisted beers while chatting it up with friends. I always knew when i became a mom I still wanted to be my fun social self and just add my kids to the equation. I noticed some of my friends changed when they became moms. I thought we would connect more since we now had kids to relate to. But now of days ladies do yearn for the perfect mom status and ignore other moms who don’t follow in their steps. Who would think being a mom causes cliques ? Thanks again for your words wisdom and as a fellow unicorn mom as well … let’s “f on together”

    • Profile photo of Mariam Author
      Mariam 5 months ago

      Right? Thanks for reading… and responding. Moms can totally suck right? I have actually lost friends over this type of stuff. XOXO Twin mom. Rock the f*ck on!

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