Author Candace Alnaji
When I was pregnant with my twins, I had no idea what to expect. I was already a mother, having had an older son three years earlier. I knew what it was like to be a mom. I didn’t know what it was like to be a twin mom. I knew it would be a different—I just didn’t know how.
During my pregnancy, I spent months scouring the Internet hoping to catch a glimpse of what the future held for my family. Unfortunately, much of what I found was extremely discouraging. Most of the information I read promised life with twins would be extremely difficult.
As my due date neared, I took a deep breath and readied myself for whatever twin life was ready to throw at me. Then, my twins were born, and I encountered a much different reality than what I expected. Here’s what I learned about twin motherhood.
It is filled with love.
The moment my twins were born, my heart grew several sizes. Any fears I had about being able to fairly love all my children evaporated in an instant. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the task of caring for two babies, I felt completely consumed by my love for them.
That love has grown every day since their birth. As a twin parent, you will frequently hear the phrase “double the work, double the love” and while it is a cliché, it is also so very true. There is something incredible about raising two children going through the same phases at the same time.
When they are babies, you get double the cuddles, double the gummy smiles, and double the belly laughs. From what more experienced twin moms tell me, that love continues to double even as they grow.
It is exhausting.
Of course, twin motherhood is also exhausting. Most parents remember the newborn phase as a blur of sleepless nights. So, imagine what the newborn phase is like with two babies. No matter how much you try to get your babies on the same schedule, the truth is that they are still two different human beings with two different temperaments.
I’ve found that it does get easier to keep them on a “schedule” as they get older, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are dealing with two same-aged people (plus any additional children you have), who may all require something different at the exact same time.
Besides the double newborn period, you get two babies/toddlers who teethe at the same time; two wild toddlers who will run in opposite directions, and two children who will hit the teenage years at the same time. I’ve yet to hit the latter two milestones, but from other twin moms have told me, it will keep you on your toes.
It is humbling.
In case you haven’t guessed, twin motherhood is humbling. I’ve always been a master multitasker. During college, I was the person holding down multiple jobs and prestigious internships while carrying the max number of allowed credits and getting straight As. In law school and as a young attorney, I was even more driven.
This continued when I became a mom for the first time to my oldest son. I was able work full-time while also staying home with him, workout every day, go to a million baby and toddler enrichment activities every week, co-chair committees, and serve on a board of directors.
Twin life initially brought much of that to a grinding halt. It took longer to establish a new normal; however, slowly but surely, we are getting back into it. Still, twin motherhood forced me to slow down, accept my limitations, and form new strengths—which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
It was made for you.
If you are a twin mom or expecting twins, know that this life was made for you. You were chosen for these babies, and you will absolutely do right by them. You may not have chosen the twin mama life, but the twin mama life definitely chose you—and you will be so glad that it did.
Candace Alnaji is a practicing attorney, freelance writer, content creator, and proud mom. You can find her writing on her blog as The Mom at Law. She can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.