You were positive one day you were going to be a mom.
Raising a family was your purpose in life.
Unfortunately, when you received your infertility diagnosis, Mother Nature decided to pull out the carpet from under your feet.
Now you find yourself staring at a cracked mirror of your life, trying to piece it back together.
Can you accept using donor eggs from young women to have your own baby?
Deciding whether to use donor eggs takes significant time and consideration. There are numerous facets of this decision you’ll need to bear in mind. From the emotions involved to the choices you’ll face, being prepared for what’s ahead can help you take control of this new path to parenthood.
Is Donor Egg IVF the Right Fertility Treatment for You?
First, you’ll want to be sure donor egg is the right fertility option for you and your family. This means considering other routes like traditional IVF, surrogacy, and adoption.
If your infertility is associated with poor egg quality or count, IVF with donor eggs is often preferred to traditional IVF. If you’d like to experience pregnancy and delivery, you may rule out surrogacy and adoption, as they don’t offer you the chance to carry and give birth to your baby like you’re able to do with donor egg IVF.
But can you accept not sharing a genetic link with your child?
How Will You Feel About Not Sharing Your Baby’s Genes?
For many women, accepting the lack of genetic connection is a significant hurdle to accepting donor eggs. At first, it can feel as though there can’t be an unbreakable bond between you and your child.
However, working through these thoughts can help you realize there’s so much more to being a mother than genes.
Mothers guide us in our journey throughout life.
Anyone can share their genes with a child, but it takes much more to be a “mom.”
Fortunately, your child’s genes aren’t entirely out of your control, either.
Not only can they share your partner’s genes, but you can choose your donor based on their genetic makeup and other physical characteristics.
What Should You Look for in a Donor?
You have two primary choices when it comes to your donor – use someone you know or find an egg bank with a large number of donors.
The former often appeals at first because it can be a cousin, sister, or friend who selflessly offers her help in your quest for motherhood. This may provide reassurance that you know your baby’s genes – and, if you use someone from your family, you know your own genes are being passed on to some extent.
Nevertheless, using a donor you know takes much consideration.
How will your relationship with this person change after you give birth to your baby? Will your baby know who their donor is from the start? What sort of role will the donor have or want in your baby’s life?
These questions need answering before you move forward, so you can be sure the relationship you have with the donor will survive this significant undertaking.
If you decide using someone you know isn’t the right choice for you, using a donor egg bank is a great option. It gives you access to a wide range of national and international donors, each with their own unique qualities. You’ll be able to select your donor based on characteristics like their physical traits, personality, and academic achievements. This reaffirms the control you have over your child’s genes.
The Role You’re Destined For
At the beginning of this journey, it can feel as though all hope is lost; as if you’ve been “fired” from the most important job of your life.
Yet, as you work through your thoughts and feelings and come to terms with the options available, you can start to take hold of the reins. You can begin steering your life back in the direction you’ve always been heading. You can secure the role you’ve longed for as long as you can remember. You can become the mom you’re destined to be.
